I locked my keys in my car on route the other day.

I called my supervisor, and he was gratious enough to call CAA and come to my route and wait for them for me.

The shitty part, was that it was hot and I was wearing a jacket because it had been raining just before.  So I put my jacket under the wheel well until the car was opened.

Once it was opened… I drove away.

and it was never seen again.

the other day, this woman let me into her house and I noticed she was wearing flip flops shaped like fish.

then her husband took over to show me where the meter was…..

and his flip flops were shaped like penises.

I almost got destroyed by a dog that looked similar to a pitbull the other day. (not that the fact that it was a pitbull is indicative of anything, mentioning that is more to point out it’s size and stature) 

I went to a house and the man was outside. As we walked up to go in, I asked if there were any dogs in the house. He said yes, but that he would put them away.

Waited outside a few seconds, until he said come on it.

Once I went in, we walked through the kitchen and I saw the dog was on the back deck on a sun porch with the door closed.

But when I came through, the door opened and the dog charged at me, barking and snarling. I put my handheld out in front of me to confuse the dog and so it tried to lunge around it to get at me. 

Thankfully, the people grabbed him after a second but it felt like eternity.

They had a small son (probably 3) who started crying because the dog scared him, so the mother picked him up to comfort him and nobody even said a word to me like, “sorry my dog almost ate you.” or “are you okay”

Not only was I mad at that, but my heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt sick to my stomach.

Very, very scary.

the other day at work, I dropped my brick of a handheld computer down some man’s basement stairs and dented the wall.

fortunately, he just laughed and wasn’t the least bit upset or concerned.

thank the lord baby jesus.