October 2012
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July 2012
1 post
“Don’t mind me… you don’t have to report that, do you?”
– Young (gorgeous) guy as he moves his bong
June 2012
24 posts
“sorry I didn’t come to the door right away. I was in the bathroom having a...”
– TMI Old Lady
hahah.... I'm gonna call the po-po!
Me: [blah blah blah] can I come in?
Guy: hold on a second.....
[turns around and goes in living room. stops. comes back]
Guy: I'm going to be honest, we just smoked a joint downstairs.
DEAR GOD people
Me: Hi... [blah blah blah]
[dog is barking at the lady's feet]
Me: [seeing a kennel right beside the door] Could I ask you to put the dog in a separate room or the kennel?
Lady: No, I'm not fine with that.
blonde day....
I locked my keys in my car on route the other day.
I called my supervisor, and he was gratious enough to call CAA and come to my route and wait for them for me.
The shitty part, was that it was hot and I was wearing a jacket because it had been raining just before. So I put my jacket under the wheel well until the car was opened.
Once it was opened… I drove away.
and it was never seen...
tuna and roosters
the other day, this woman let me into her house and I noticed she was wearing flip flops shaped like fish.
then her husband took over to show me where the meter was…..
and his flip flops were shaped like penises.
scariest experience of working so far.
I almost got destroyed by a dog that looked similar to a pitbull the other day. (not that the fact that it was a pitbull is indicative of anything, mentioning that is more to point out it’s size and stature)
I went to a house and the man was outside. As we walked up to go in, I asked if there were any dogs in the house. He said yes, but that he would put them away.
Waited outside a few...
oy vay....
the other day at work, I dropped my brick of a handheld computer down some man’s basement stairs and dented the wall.
fortunately, he just laughed and wasn’t the least bit upset or concerned.
thank the lord baby jesus.
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“These tomatoes… the cocksuckers…
(Later on)
My wife, she’s...”
– Old Polish Man.. hahahah
“oh, I thought you were a prostitute. we live in a bad area.”
– girl, a door-to-door prostitute? think before you speak, yo.
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the other day, I saw a man riding a bicycle in a karate outfit.
the day before yesterday, I was in a hoarder house. had a nice little path to the laundry room, thankfully.
oh doctor, could you take a look at my...
Man: I have a question for you.
Me: ok sure.
Man: I just bought one of those new toilets..
Me: the low flow toilets?
Man: yes. do I have to return my old toilet?
Me: .....I don't know anything about that.
awkward....
Me: Hi, I'm here to read your meter.
Old Man: oh come in. you seem like a nice lady! Honey, they're here to read the meter.
Old Woman: what? I can't hear you.
OM: the meter! she's gotta go in the basement.
OW: well I'm on the toilet!
[door is wide open and right across from the basement door]
OM: That's ok, she's a lady. Nothing she hasn't seen. She's a nice lady.
OW: oh hi!
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May 2012
32 posts
that's what she said.... or did....
Lady: ok come in! but the meter is under the stairs. are you good on your hands and knees?
urg...
Me: Could I ask you to put your dog in a separate room or the backyard? It's just policy.
Her: Ok. *turns around to take dog*
Me: Are my shoes ok to wear in?
Her: I'll put the dog in the back. and take your shoes off. It's just my policy.
Nasties...
Lady: Ok, go on downstairs. But watch the cat puke. The cat puked downstairs.
Me: Ok. [thinking: WTF why didn't you clean it up????]
today....
I avoided a house that smelled like pot from across the street and had all sorts of sketch people coming and going from it
I had a nice man kill a giant spider for me that was chillin on his meter
and I got offered a cookie on a stick wrapped in cellophane from an old lady
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language barriers...
Me: Hi, I'm here to read the water meter.
Lady: oh! come in!
Me: Thanks. are my shoes ok?
Lady: oh yes, I have the same ones!
Me: *laughs* oh ya.... but can I wear them into your house?
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Insult... Backhanded compliment? I can't tell....
Man: oh, you took your earrings out.
Me: oh I just don't wear them all the time.
Man: they make you take them out?
Me: no, I just prefer not to wear them sometimes.
Man: I see. you should put them back in.
Me: OK..... *smiles and walks away*
so today was pretty much an uneventful today.....
the last 15 minutes of our shift (I was training a new student today on how to read meters)… and he all of a sudden says, “I don’t feel very good” and then throws up. and continues to throw up.
so, so gross.
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Old Man (as I'm leaving): Ok. see you next month?
Me: no, we only come once a year.
Old Man: oh... well if I read my meter will I see you next month?
Me: no, you would just get an estimated bill.
Old Man; damn...
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“You’re not yet married? Well enjoy.
You’re such a kind person....”
– a Russian woman telling me not to get married young
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“Since when they get such beautiful water meter readers? The city is improving.”
– A sweet old lady as she answered her door.
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The hot military man.
One day, towards the end of the summer, I was working in the area of the city where all the housing is for military families.
I came to one house, knocked, and a very buff, very attractive young man answered the door wearing only boxer briefs.
I told him why I was there and he, embarrassed, asked for a moment, while he went to get dressed.
A moment later, he came back and was just putting on...
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“Those brown kids are actually bad people”
– A young (maybe 4-year-old) white girl giving me advice about her neighbours
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“Have you seen that show Intervention? It’s like that. They’re all...”
– Fellow Co-worker on working in the bad areas of town.
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The most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed
One day, I knocked on the door of a house and a younger man answered. I told him why I was there, and he told me to go right ahead down to the basement.
This happens often, the people assume you know where it is, and don’t come down with you.
Most often, I do know where the meter is because our handheld devices that we carry give us directions on where to find it.
But this day, I...
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