Oh the Places You'll Go!

This is my most successful gif to date.

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 17:52:19 -0500

This is my most successful gif to date.

"Don’t mind me… you don’t have to report that, do you?"

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 12:30:12 -0500

“Don’t mind me… you don’t have to report that, do you?”

- Young (gorgeous) guy as he moves his bong

"sorry I didn’t come to the door right away. I was in the bathroom having a bowel movement."

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:30:39 -0500

“sorry I didn’t come to the door right away. I was in the bathroom having a bowel movement.”

- TMI Old Lady

hahah.... I'm gonna call the po-po!

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:24:44 -0500

Me: [blah blah blah] can I come in?
Guy: hold on a second.....
[turns around and goes in living room. stops. comes back]
Guy: I'm going to be honest, we just smoked a joint downstairs.

DEAR GOD people

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:22:57 -0500

Me: Hi... [blah blah blah]
[dog is barking at the lady's feet]
Me: [seeing a kennel right beside the door] Could I ask you to put the dog in a separate room or the kennel?
Lady: No, I'm not fine with that.

blonde day....

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:21:03 -0500

I locked my keys in my car on route the other day.

I called my supervisor, and he was gratious enough to call CAA and come to my route and wait for them for me.

The shitty part, was that it was hot and I was wearing a jacket because it had been raining just before. So I put my jacket under the wheel well until the car was opened.

Once it was opened… I drove away.

and it was never seen again.

tuna and roosters

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:19:18 -0500

the other day, this woman let me into her house and I noticed she was wearing flip flops shaped like fish.

then her husband took over to show me where the meter was…..

and his flip flops were shaped like penises.

scariest experience of working so far.

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:18:11 -0500

I almost got destroyed by a dog that looked similar to a pitbull the other day. (not that the fact that it was a pitbull is indicative of anything, mentioning that is more to point out it’s size and stature)

I went to a house and the man was outside. As we walked up to go in, I asked if there were any dogs in the house. He said yes, but that he would put them away.

Waited outside a few seconds, until he said come on it.

Once I went in, we walked through the kitchen and I saw the dog was on the back deck on a sun porch with the door closed.

But when I came through, the door opened and the dog charged at me, barking and snarling. I put my handheld out in front of me to confuse the dog and so it tried to lunge around it to get at me.

Thankfully, the people grabbed him after a second but it felt like eternity.

They had a small son (probably 3) who started crying because the dog scared him, so the mother picked him up to comfort him and nobody even said a word to me like, “sorry my dog almost ate you.” or “are you okay”

Not only was I mad at that, but my heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt sick to my stomach.

Very, very scary.

oy vay....

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:12:26 -0500

the other day at work, I dropped my brick of a handheld computer down some man’s basement stairs and dented the wall.

fortunately, he just laughed and wasn’t the least bit upset or concerned.

thank the lord baby jesus.

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:08:44 -0500

“DOG’S OKAY BEWARE OF WIFE”

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:08:05 -0500

“DOG’S OKAY BEWARE OF WIFE”

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:06:25 -0500

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:06:03 -0500

"These tomatoes… the cocksuckers… (Later on) My wife, she’s young, but she is..."

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 13:13:41 -0500

“These tomatoes… the cocksuckers…
(Later on)
My wife, she’s young, but she is fucked up.”

- Old Polish Man.. hahahah

"oh, I thought you were a prostitute. we live in a bad area."

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:21:38 -0500

“oh, I thought you were a prostitute. we live in a bad area.”

- girl, a door-to-door prostitute? think before you speak, yo.

…riiiight….

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:13:36 -0500

…riiiight….

this little cat (possibly a stray) followed me around for a few...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:13:10 -0500

this little cat (possibly a stray) followed me around for a few houses. she was sooo cute.

swag.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:12:36 -0500

swag.

……ew… there was another dead mouse right by it...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:12:16 -0500

……ew…

there was another dead mouse right by it too.

the other day, I saw a man riding a bicycle in a karate outfit. the day before yesterday, I was in a...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:19:26 -0500

the other day, I saw a man riding a bicycle in a karate outfit.

the day before yesterday, I was in a hoarder house. had a nice little path to the laundry room, thankfully.